I’ll be 38 later this year, pushing 40 like I’ve pushed the shovel through the snow on the porch (unwilling and sweaty, but better than the alternative).

I don’t feel old, though. I feel pretty out of shape, sure, but that’s more my lack of consistent exercise than my age. I still have to go to the dermatologist regularly to fight the pimply skin I’ve been arguing with since I was a teen. In about a week and a half, I’m getting braces (Invisalign) to deal with the teeth that have always made me self-conscious.

It still feels like I just graduated from college, even though I’m more than twice the age of most of the high schoolers I work with. I’m going to have an honest-to-god teen this year, but I still wish my daughter’s outfits came in my size.

I have gained so much more confidence in myself than I had when I was a teenager myself, which pretty much means I don’t care what people think when I wear things like a “Readers Gonna Read” t-shirt or a dinosaur skeleton necklace. It makes me happy, so I’m going to do it. Just like reading Young Adult books makes me happy…one of the novels on the top of my to-read list is the one my ten year old just finished.

I guess what makes me feel old is my inability to understand some of the trends and slang the “kids use these days.” Not the ones that have come back around since I was a kid, of course (although, I can’t say I understand some of those, either), but the newest ones that lead to a google search or a visit to Urban Dictionary. My new “computer” glasses make me feel kind of old, too….not the glasses themselves (the frames are 100% glittery), but the idea of them.

I’m probably gonna be the 57 year old with the rocket ship t-shirt and hot pink reading glasses, reading my YA series, but just like Diet Coke is telling us, you do you, I’ll be me.