I just finished reading Me and Earl and the Dying Girl yesterday. I had picked it up immediately following the Harry Potter series, but put it right back down because I wasn’t at all ready for something so different when my heart pieces were still all over the floor. But I picked it up again a few days ago and devoured it… I really loved it. Not in an emotional, Eleanor and Park way, but in an entertaining, laugh out loud, surprising bits of heart way.
Anyway, so Greg (the main character), is “writing” this book and he uses headlines in a part of it to talk about what’s going on.
I thought I’d share some of my recent headlines.
November 11, 2015
Mom of Four Has Epic Tantrum After Children Go To Bed
Husband is scared into doing dishes for her.
November 13, 2015
Mom of Four is Awakened Before Dawn By Kidz Bop
Daughter, 6, is falsely accused but released from blame after tattling on older sister.
November 12, 2015
Elderly Feline Expelled From House Temporarily
Mom of four just sighs when asked for statement.
November 10, 2015
Mom of Four Spends Inordinate Amount of Time on Hair and Makeup
Takes inordinate amount of selfies to mark occasion.
November 14, 2015
Mom of Four in Denial About Impending Arrival of Thanksgiving Holiday
Locals say it will happen whether she’s ready or not, but is not hopeful about Mom of four’s preparedness.
November 14, 2015
Mom of Four Urged to Shake Her Maracas By Disney Channel
Says Mickey Mouse Clubhouse made her do it.
November 15, 2015
Mom of Four Spends Time Away From Kids For The Evening
Husband uncertain whether she will return.
What’s your morning headline?
I love this! The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse line made me laugh.
Mine would be "Exhausted mom of 3 denies all household responsibilities, eats cheese instead.
Ha! Love it. Cheese is a denial tactic for me, too.
Mom of three? Five? (Not sure how many, because they are coming and going) Hopes everyone makes the bus today.
Outcome uncertain.
Yes! I could use that one, too. 🙂
These are hilarious!
"Sleep Deprived Mother Vows to remove nuts from her house to ensure ensure a non -fussy child. Settles for mac n cheese."
"Gluten Free Friday Derailed By Delivery of Buttermilk Scones"
"Angry government employee flips over desk after coworker refuses to stop alternating between humming and whistling." Other employees say she didn't seem violent before the outburst. Husband says, "They've only known her since August."
Mine would be; Mom of two humans and two cats denies the existence of litter box, plays legos instead (after liberal amounts of refreeze is used). Said mom understand this will only work about a half hour. Hangs head in shame.
I'm beyond impressed – I have one son and though he wears me out I have nothing near what you guys are facing! 🙂 On the other hand, how lovely to have a big family – kind of like an all-on-one community that you don't have to travel far to find.
"Mother of One Swears She'll Never Have Another Until Her Husband Can Have Two"
LOL. These are great and I can only imagine the full scene. Isn't it lovely being a mom? 🙂
Dad of two, investigating random injuries, questions why he's not actively drunk right now
These are hilarious! You nailed them all, especially the taglines.