Today, I’m so happy to introduce AnnMarie to y’all. She’s a fairly new Twitter pal, and such a dear person. She’s an Italian mama in a big family, which I LOVE to read about. The food, the loud get-togethers, the boisterous showings of love.

AnnMarie is an aspiring writer and stay at home mom that together with her college sweetheart is raising their 14 year old son, boy/girl twins that are 10 and a 2 year old daughter. Her blog, Tidbits From the Queen of Chaos, is about the realities or marriage and parenting. It’s not always pretty but it is always honest.

Thanks for being here today, AnnMarie!

So Many Expectations

When I was younger I read all of the Sweet Dream books and all of the Sweet Valley High books so I had high expectations for how I’d fall in love. The reality was that falling in love with the cutest boy I knew lived up to those expectations but he made me wait 7 years before we got married. I did not expect that.

When I was little I played school with the neighborhood kids and went to work with my dad who was a principal and would play in the classrooms. I had high expectations of what teaching would be like. The reality was that it surpassed all of my expectations and was one of the best times in my life. I cried when I decided to stay home with Nico. I felt like I lost a huge part of my identity. I did not expect that.

When I was little and played house with my sisters, I expected to get married and have a lot of children. The reality was that it wasn’t that easy and that infertility found its ugly way into my life. Getting pregnant involved doctors and medicine and two years of more stress than I had ever known. I did not expect that.

After I finally got pregnant with the twins, Tommy and Isabella and was about to make Nico a big brother, he came down with a cough. I expected that as his mother, I’d be able to nurse him back to health. The reality was that we found out his cough was because he had a life-shortening genetic disease that we would later find out his little brother had as well. I did not expect that.

After getting a grip on our little family of 5 and because the boys were so healthy, we decided to make it a family of 6. I got pregnant with Rocco. I expected that in 9 months our family would be complete. The reality was that at 22 weeks pregnant, we found out that he had passed away and instead of getting to know him, we instead had to bury him. I did not expect that.

I gave up on the idea of having more kids since infertility was still stealing our joy. I decided I’d go back to teaching so I applied for several jobs. I expected that I’d get a job and push away my broken heart. The reality was that I found out I was pregnant with our little miracle baby, Gia. I did not expect that.

I thought about raising kids for the better part of my life. I expected that it would be hard but that there would be home-cooked meals, clean laundry, a family trip to a different place each year and LOADS of family time. The reality is that Lou Malnati’s is on speed dial, laundry is backed up, we either go to the in-laws in Florida or Wisconsin for a baseball tournament/extended vacation as our only vacations and family time is at a field or a gym. I did not expect that.

I thought about being a wife since I made my first communion and demanded my mom produce the boy I just married. I expected marriage to be like the Cosby’s or the Brady’s. The reality is that marriage is hard and we have to work at not taking each other for granted. I found someone that makes working at it not so bad. We are not always likeable. I am not always fun to be around and I found someone that loves me in spite of that. I did not expect that.

I dreamed of being a writer since reading Are You There God, it’s Me, Margaret? I expected that the ideas in my head would get on paper, I’d send them in and they’d get published. The reality is that the ideas are slowly getting there (the writing is all the fun), I’m still afraid to put myself out there, I discovered I love to blog and I found another outlet for my writing. I did not expect that.

My faith is strong and I believe with all my heart that everything happens for a reason. I expected that if I followed all the rules, bad things wouldn’t happen to me and if they did, I would not be strong enough to handle it. The reality is that life is a rollercoaster and sometimes when you are up, it is really good and when you are down, it is really bad. Strength is something that even if you don’t feel it, you have it. Even with the downs, I like my life and I love my little family that is all my own. I’m finally at a place where I can expect that.~AnnMarie

www.tidbitsqueenchaos.com

You can find AnnMarie on Facebook: or Twitter.