It’s been four years today since we were sitting in the SICU in Kansas City and my life completely changed. The big two were so small and oblivious, especially Ivy, since she was just a baby bean herself.. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the story.
There are some days when I’m looking at this little man and see his father. It’s uncanny, like two peas in a pod. And that makes me happy, and sad.
And I look at this little princess and I see him, too. And I’m sad that she never met him, but I’m happy that we can all share memories with her.
But then I look at her, and I’m grateful for the chance to know her and love her with all of my heart. It’s hard for me to say it without feeling like someone will take it the wrong way, but as a mother and a wife, I wouldn’t wish for anything different.
And I can’t forget this man, my Bean.
And our little family.
It’s a bittersweet day. I just hope that you tell your family and your friends that you love them while you still have the chance. Because you just never know.
While we mourn for the past, it is okay to be grateful for what has become of our lives. Of course you miss J, and miss him everyday, and that is ok. Sometimes things that happen out of our control leave us no other choice but to pick up and make the best of the situation. You are amazing, and you have created an amazing family with someone who adores you. You are a lucky girl. Not only did you find real, true love once….you got it twice. I am hugging you right now…feel it?
beautiful and powerful…wow. Thank you for sharing this post with me on my page. It's my worst fear to be left behind, to watch the ones I love leave this earth without me. Knowing that life doesn't have to end with grief (but a person can actually find joy again) is a terrific realization.
You have a really beautiful family! And congrats on the baby on the way! I will definitely be giving my husband and son and extra hug tonight. Thank you.
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My father was diagnosed with cancer while my mother was pregnant with me. He ended up dying when I was only 2 months old and my brother was 21 months old. When my mother was alive she would occasionally tell stories about my infancy that sound similar to your time with Ivy. In the end, I am just in awe that my mother handled the whole situation so well and was able to raise me and my brother in the great way that she did. I'm sure when all is said and done, that's how your children will feel about you, too.
Oh my goodness, you made me cry! You wrote this beautifully and I couldn't agree more. You are so strong and amazing, both your children will know memories of their dad because of you and your memories.