It’s been four years today since we were sitting in the SICU in Kansas City and my life completely changed. The big two were so small and oblivious, especially Ivy, since she was just a baby bean herself.. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the story.

There are some days when I’m looking at this little man and see his father. It’s uncanny, like two peas in a pod. And that makes me happy, and sad.

And I look at this little princess and I see him, too. And I’m sad that she never met him, but I’m happy that we can all share memories with her.

But then I look at her, and I’m grateful for the chance to know her and love her with all of my heart. It’s hard for me to say it without feeling like someone will take it the wrong way, but as a mother and a wife, I wouldn’t wish for anything different.

And I can’t forget this man, my Bean.

And our little family.

It’s a bittersweet day. I just hope that you tell your family and your friends that you love them while you still have the chance. Because you just never know.