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Last week, Ivy turned six years old. I posted this on my Facebook page:

Every year on July 25, I’m thankful that Ivy shares her birthday with her dad. Because even though they never got the chance to meet, they will always have that special connection.

A lot of people don’t know that Ivy was born on her late dad’s birthday. It actually didn’t look like she would be. I can’t remember exactly, but she was either a few days early or a few days late. On the 25th, I was in labor all day with her, going into the hospital sometime late that morning, and ending up with an emergency c-section at about 10:00-10:30 pm, when the doctor broke my water and the umbilical cord came out with it. I’ll never forget that night. It was a completely surreal experience, and for some reason, I was completely calm as they wheeled me down the hall, the doctor crouched on top of my bed holding the umbilical cord inside of me.

All of my friends and family were worried about what was going to happen, I think, and freaked out, but I never felt that. Maybe I was in shock, or maybe after almost an entire day in labor, I was too exhausted to think.

I do know that Ivy was born on the 25th, only about 59 minutes shy of midnight.

When we were in court, and the hearings for the woman who hit and killed my husband were wrapping up, they asked me if I wanted to say anything to her. I wrote something out, and though I couldn’t look her in the eye in that court room, I got up to the podium and I read it. I told her that I was angry that my daughter would never meet her dad, and that I was angry that he would never get to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day, see her graduate from high school or college, or celebrate her birthdays with her.

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve struggled with my beliefs for the last seven years, and heard the same message at two separate funerals. I do know that good things happen to bad people, and terrible things happen to good people, and there’s no explanation for it.

But for whatever reason (or by chance), she was born at 11:01 on July 25th six years ago, and even without him there to watch her open presents and blow out the candles, I feel like he’s a part of it.

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