One of my favorite people in the entire world is turning 29 on Tuesday. I made her a gift already, but I gave it to her super early because I couldn’t wait. And she told me I wasn’t allowed to buy her anything. SO. That leaves me with no other choice than to gush about her on my blog and list:

The Top Ten Things I Love About Mama Mash.

(If you don’t know who Mama Mash is…well, she’s an extraordinary blogger and in-real-life friend. Her name’s not really Mama Mash, but my name’s also not G Funk. And that doesn’t stop either of us.)

10. You know that saying “she don’t take crap from nobody?” As grammatically incorrect as it is, you know exactly what it means. But Mama Mash DOES take crap, a lot of it. Because she’s a decent human being and someone with class. Not Klass with a Kapital K either. Actual, real class. She takes all of the crap that’s piled in front of her, and she shovels a little path through it to come out on the other side. Sometimes, she has to work way too hard to get that crap out of the way, but she does it. With grace.

9. When I’m feeling down about something stupid, instead of saying “shut up, Greta, you’re being stupid”, she tells me a fart joke. I laugh and start to forget about what I’m upset about, and she tells me five more fart jokes. That’s the mark of a true friend.

8. Speaking of knowing just what to say…well, she does. When Ervin was born, and post after post on my blog was about how the doctor was saying he was too small, and he wasn’t growing fast enough, and he needed to gain weight, Mama Mash was always the first to chime in with how big he looked, and how much he had grown, and my, was he getting taller! That meant so much to my new-mom-hormonal-mess-ness, Mama Mash, and I will never forget it.

7. Girl can cook. When she spent Easter with us, she brought a gigantic carrot cake with her. And I may have snuck into the garage to eat the leftovers the following week. Several times. It was as bad as the worst pregnancy craving. (I think my body was telling me that I needed more beta carotene. Ahem.)

6. Girl can WRITE about cooking. Have you read her Monday Meals? Or Soups On Sundays? Or her brand new Waffle Iron Wednesdays? She does it best, any day of the week. She introduced me to meatloaf cupcakes, and it’s been a family favorite (and freezer meal) ever since.

5. When she doesn’t want to cook? Well, she knows where to go to get good food. She got me hooked on sushi, and doesn’t even make fun of me for ordering the most cooked, least spicy roll on the menu. Or when I try to use chopsticks and give up after 0.2 seconds and use my fingers instead.

4. Something else that she doesn’t make fun of? My extreme dorkiness. Yes, she may call me out on it sometimes (it can be extreme extreme, you guys) but it’s because she gets me.

3. Her family is just too cute for words. My words, at least. But she’s always got words for them, and they’re hilarious, and heartfelt.

2. She’s really smart. Like, really smart. But she doesn’t make you feel any less smart yourself, which is not a common trait among smart people.

1. She’s gorgeous, inside and out. And she doesn’t look a day over 21 (seriously, we were carded buying cocktails, you guys). And I’m extremely jealous of her boobs. But she knows that already.

So, happy birthday, Mama Mash! I’m so very lucky to call you my friend, and I’m SO glad you’re blooming where you’re planted, since you’re planted so close to me. But not close enough, since, you know, we don’t live next door to each other.

(If you ever need a situation to be dealt with with more Klass than class, you know I’m here).

I’m linking up with Stasha this week, so everybody can wish Mama Mash a Happy Birthday, too!